Concussion education · For patients and families

Family Guide: Noticing Changes in a Loved One After a Crash

The injured person says “I'm fine,” and believes it. Meanwhile a spouse notices forgotten conversations, or a teenager notices a parent snapping over nothing. Family observations are often the earliest and clearest signal.

By Ben Thayer, Co-Founder & Co-Owner · 3 min read

Who this is for: Written for spouses, parents and adult children who notice changes in someone after a crash.

Key takeaways

People with concussion symptoms are not always the best judges of their own changes.
Write down specific, dated examples: “Tuesday: asked me three times what time dinner was.”
Raise concerns calmly, with “I” statements, and offer to go to the next appointment.
With permission, share your notes with the provider, and help with follow-up if memory is an issue.
Look after yourself too. Supporting recovery is hard work.

Families often notice first

After a crash, the injured person may say "I'm fine" and mean it. Meanwhile, a spouse notices them forgetting conversations, a teenager notices a parent snapping over small things, or adult children notice an aging parent getting lost on a familiar drive.

People with concussion symptoms are not always the best judges of their own changes. Family observations are often the earliest and clearest signal that something needs attention.

Family observations are often the earliest and clearest signal that something needs attention.

Changes worth writing down

Heavy interstate traffic in Florida — Even low-speed collisions in traffic can jolt the head and neck.

Look for forgetfulness, such as repeated questions, missed appointments or lost items. Watch for slower thinking or responses, trouble following conversations or TV plots, irritability, new anxiety or sadness, withdrawal from friends or hobbies, changes in sleep, unusual fatigue, complaints about light or noise, headaches, clumsiness and dizziness.

Note the date and a specific example: "Tuesday: asked me three times what time dinner was." Specifics are far more useful to a provider than impressions.

How to bring it up

Choose a calm moment and speak from your own experience: "I've noticed you seem more tired and forgetful since the accident. I'm worried about you." Avoid labels and arguments. Offer to go to the next appointment, and with their permission, share your notes with the provider.

Related in this series: Mood Changes and Irritability After a Head Injury, Concussion Symptoms in Older Adults After a Car Crash and Post-Accident Symptom Checklist (Printable). For the full overview, start with our guide, Recovery, Work and Family.

Helping at appointments

Bring your written observations and help describe changes the patient may not remember. Write down the provider's instructions, and help schedule follow-up visits if memory is a problem.

“I've noticed you seem more tired and forgetful since the accident. I'm worried about you.”

When testing might help

Physician in a white coat speaking with a patient — A neurologist interprets the report; the treating provider then receives a copy.

If changes persist, the treating provider can refer for standardized testing at their office. A neurologist interprets the results, and the provider then gets a copy and will discuss next steps with you and your loved one.

Children in the household

Children may notice that a parent is more irritable or tired and wonder whether they did something wrong. Explain simply that Mom or Dad was hurt in the accident and is healing, and that some days are harder than others. Steady routines help everyone cope.

Taking care of yourself

Supporting someone through recovery is stressful. Lean on friends, keep your own routines when you can and seek support for yourself if you need it.

Know the emergency signs

Call 911 or go to the ER for a worsening headache, repeated vomiting, unusual sleepiness or difficulty waking, confusion, slurred speech, weakness, a seizure or unequal pupils. If someone talks about harming themselves, call or text 988.

Frequently asked questions

How do I keep track of changes?

Write down specific examples with dates, and bring them to appointments.

Can I come to the testing visit?

Usually, yes. Ask the provider's office.

Who helps me as a caregiver?

Take care of yourself too, and ask the treating provider about support resources.

We diagnose. You treat.

Mobile, physician-reviewed concussion and TBI diagnostics for Florida providers and their accident patients. Reports go to a neurologist ahead of the neuro evaluation; the referring provider then receives a copy for advanced imaging and treatment recommendations.

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Sources

This article is educational and is not medical or legal advice. If this is a medical emergency, call 911.